(and a Few Laughs Along the Way)
It has been a very long time since my last blog post but it will be back up and running now. I am studying at the moment; a Masters in Psychology and reflexivity is crucial and a much needed element within it. So I thought I would dip by big toe in again (it's not hairy - just in case you are wondering) and do a lot of it in blog form but with some pieces going into a personal reflexivity journal.
It’s funny how life has a way of surprising you—just when you think you’ve got it all figured out, it throws you a curveball. Case in point: I’m 55 years old, and I’m currently waiting for an ADHD diagnosis. Yes, you read that right. At this age, I should be contemplating early retirement or maybe picking up knitting, but instead, I’m navigating the world of ADHD as if I’m the one who’s just discovered it.
Here’s the twist: I didn’t start this journey because of me. Oh no, it started with my grandchildren. When they were diagnosed with ADHD, I was concerned, naturally. As I watched them struggle with focus, impulse control, and that delightful inability to sit still (seriously, how do they have so much energy?), I thought, “Well, that’s tough for them, but they’re just kids, right?” Little did I know, I was basically watching my future self on a loop.
This is me!
The more I observed their behaviors—the constant fidgeting, the switching between tasks as if they had a built-in "next" button—I started to recognize something a little too familiar about their struggles. The more I learned about ADHD, the more I began to connect the dots. “Wait a minute,” I thought. “I’ve been doing these things for years. This is me! I’m basically a walking, talking ADHD ad campaign!”
As a child, I was that kid who was always described as “daydreaming” or “talking too much” (guilty), struggling with friendships etc. I also had a habit of starting projects with enthusiasm, only to abandon them halfway through and jump into something new—usually with zero follow-through. I’d get so caught up in my thoughts that I’d forget what I was doing… which explains why I’ve misplaced my keys more times than I can count. I’ve always blamed it on my “creative mind” or “too much coffee,” but now I realize I was just pre-diagnosed with ADHD without even knowing it.
Women's ADHD
As I wait for the official diagnosis, I’ve had time to reflect. And I’ll be honest, there’s a mix of relief and “how did I not notice this earlier?” There’s also a lot of “Why didn’t anyone tell me sooner?” But let’s face it—ADHD in women often goes unnoticed, especially when the symptoms are less about running around and more about losing track of time or getting overwhelmed by too many tabs open in your brain (like, literally, I could open a whole new browser window for every thought I have). Women’s ADHD is often internalized, so instead of being disruptive, it just looks like… well, me—constantly juggling too many things and wondering why I can’t seem to finish any of them.
Waiting for a diagnosis at my age has been a bit of a rollercoaster. I’m trying to embrace the possibility of an ADHD diagnosis with the optimism of someone who’s been handed a “Get Out of Jail Free” card for all the times I forgot things or lost my keys. At the same time, though, there’s a small voice in my head that’s saying, “What if this means I’m officially ‘that person’ who has an excuse for everything?” You know, the one who can say, “Sorry, I forgot your birthday, it’s the ADHD,” without feeling guilty.
The Bigger Picture
But there’s also a sense of empowerment that comes with the possibility of finally understanding what’s been going on in my brain for all these years. I’ve started using planners and reminders (which I still forget to check, but we’re working on that), and I’m learning to be kinder to myself when I lose track of time or forget why I walked into a room. For the first time, I’m seeing that these traits aren’t just quirks—they’re part of a bigger picture.
And you know what? I’m not alone in this. My grandchildren and I have become ADHD buddies, sharing tips and tricks on how to survive a world that isn’t always built for us. And hey, at least I can finally blame my inability to focus on something other than my never-ending list of tasks on my ADHD. Small victories, right?
The Wait
So here I am, waiting for that official diagnosis, with a sense of humor and a lot of curiosity about what comes next. ADHD might have been an unexpected twist in my life’s plot, but I’m learning that it’s never too late to finally understand yourself. Plus, if I forget something important, I can always blame it on the ADHD. It’s a win-win!
The uncertainty of what an official diagnosis might mean for me is both daunting and liberating. I’m not sure how it will change the way I see myself, or how others might view me. Will it change my approach to work, relationships, or how I manage my day-to-day life?
We've Got This
There’s a part of me that wonders if the label will make everything more complicated or if it will bring clarity to all those confusing moments where I felt “different.” Will it change how I approach my goals or even my sense of self-worth? But as much as I’m unsure about the future, there’s something empowering about sharing this journey. Writing about it, sharing my experiences, and connecting with other women who might be walking down the same path feels like a small but meaningful way to make sense of it all. If this blog can help even one woman feel less alone, or offer a glimpse of hope or understanding during their own diagnosis journey, then maybe that’s part of the purpose in all of this. Together, we can navigate the uncertainty and find strength in knowing we’re not alone.
Finally
So, to all the women out there who might be waiting for their own diagnosis or just starting to recognise their symptoms—how have you found the process? What has surprised you most about your own journey with ADHD? Let’s keep the conversation going and support each other along the way.
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